A Dirty Book! I was recently on the phone with the library system. It turns out they didn't like the condition of a book I returned. They just had an inapt way of putting it, that the librarian and I thought was funny.
"Why," I asked, are you charging me for a lost book? I returned Pynchon's *Mason & Dixon* some time ago!" "Yes," came the confident answer from the library hand, "but we are not charging you for a lost book. We are charging you for returning a DIRTY BOOK."
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